Major Love, Volume I

Hello my loves!! Today I want to talk about relationships. You know, love/romantic relationships. Aren't they fun?! Um, yeah!! Well, I believe that fun is one of the main requirements. The beginning of a relationship can be tricky. There's so much to learn...so much to feel. *Sigh* Today I wanted to focus on communication. Side note: I believe communication is VITAL, it can mean life OR death for a relationship. Alright, so communication is the key that will set the tone of the relationship. There is a real art to this communicating thing. Most times we don't know how to talk to one another to effectively communicate what we think or how we feel. I found this guideline to be very helpful to help me communicate or talk things out... 1. Only ONE person talks at a time. (No interrupting, can't hear the other person talk if you are) 2. Really listen to the person speaking, when they finish you say, "So, what I'm hearing you say is...". (This lets them know that you were listening and that you are attempting to understand them.) 3. Don't talk forever! Remember, the other person has something to say too! (I had a real problem with this! I was all like, Well, what if I'm not finished?! Lol too much talking, Shonie!) Try to limit your time talking to about 5-7 mins that way it'll seem like a real dialoge is taking place. 4. SWITCH! Now it's the other person's turn to talk! Continue following those steps until you've reached a conclusion. It's also important to remember that what the other person is saying is really what they're thinking/feeling. Try to understand rather than combat. Yes, you won't agree on everything and sometimes you'll have to agree to disagree. All that matters is that you and your love feel heard. It's validating. So, take some time to listen and communicate. It takes hard work but, it's worth it.

Xo,
Shonie

Comments

What you say?!

Hello my loves! How are y'all doing? I hope that you've been working on yourselves! Practice makes perfect! Well not perfect, let's just say practice helps you get better. Have you ever listened to yourself? I mean really listen to what you say and how you feel after you've said it? Did you feel accomplished, empowered, or icky? I came across this quote on twitter, "If you really want to understand your secret/silent thoughts, pay attention to what comes out of your mouth, thought-word-deed is the process." I believe that this quote came from my fav, Iyanla Vanzant. This quote caused me to think...if I really want to know my true intentions behind anything that I did, I needed to pay attention to what came out of my mouth, because what comes out of my mouth is what I've been thinking. Sometimes we (humans) like to think that we are actually kinder and more authentic that what we truly are and this is because we don't experience ourselves. I'm ...

Mirror Mirror On the Wall...

Hey loves! Ever been in a situation where you thought, "Man, I'm tired of dealing with this same old situation, tired of getting angry about the same old things, I'm just sick and tired of being sick and tired!" I believe we have all been there at some point in time. It would have been easier if the person/situation would just cooperate and do what I wanted them to do! (lol in a perfect world)There was this one time, I remember thinking, "This person is so stubborn, every time I suggest something they shoot it down...every time I try something different, there's always a complaint. Why can't they just see things from a different perspective?!" It wasn't until I came across this message, When God can't get you to look in the mirror at you, he'll send people in your life who mirror you, that my eyes were open like never before. I was like, "Woah, I CAN'T be stubborn like so and so, I'm flexible, aren't I??" I reali...

What do you want?!

Hey my loves!! How are you?! :-) I hope you're doing well! I wanted to ask you a question, kinda make you think for a moment.... what do you want? What do you want out of life, relationships, love, yourself, others? What do you want? Iyanla Vanzant (one of my favorites) wrote, "Very often, we only have chaos in our lives because we don't know what we want. By default, uncertainty attracts uneasiness. " This statement was very powerful to me because it spoke to the uneasiness I was feeling at that present moment. I did not know what I wanted... out of ANYTHING! I had a clue or an inkling but nothing solid. I needed to figure out what I wanted and make it plain, to myself and others. By me not knowing how to or what to do to figure out exactly what I wanted, caused so much confusion in my life. Unnecessary arguments and unnecessary headaches. I had to take the time to sit down and figure out what I wanted. Grant...

Shonie's Honey

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